Alpha, Beta, Omega – dating market value test for men

Welcome to the Dating Market Value Test!

Are you a roaring alpha, meek beta or involuntarily celibate omega? Take the test and find out, simply anwer each of the 26 questions! This quiz is from Chateau Hertiste, full credit goes there, we only made it interactive.

1. How old are you?

Under 25 years old

26 to 34 years old

35 to 45 years old

45+ years old

2. How tall are you?

Under 5’9”

5’9” to 5’11”

6′ to 6’4”

Over 6’4”

3. What is your BMI?

(Go here to calculate your BMI. I know BMI doesn’t account for very muscular physiques, but since most men are not Lee Haney, it is adequate for this survey’s purposes.)

Under 20

20 to 24

24.1 to 27

Over 27.1

4. How much do you bench press?

60% or less of your body weight

61% to 80% of your body weight

81% to 170% of your body weight

over 170% of your body weight

5. What does your hairline look like?

Full head of hair if you are over 35

Full head of hair if you are under 35

Receding hairline if you are over 35

Receding hairline if you are under 35

Bald (age irrelevant)

Bald but you are dark-skinned

6. How much money do you make?

under $40K and you are out of college

$40K to $70K out of college and under 40 years old

over $70K out of college and under 40 years old

under $40K and you are college age or younger

$40K to $55K and over 40 years old

$55K to $90K and over 40 years old

over $90K and 40 to 55 years old

over $200K (age irrelevant)

7. Do you have a car?

No (under 21yo)

No (over 21yo)

Yes (under 21yo)

Yes (over 21yo)

No, but you have a motorcycle (age irrelevant)

8. Are you good-looking?

(Self-assessment is somewhat unreliable, so if you are uncertain of your looks post your pic on hotornot and wait a week for your score. Or get opinions from unbiased and blunt friends. Hashing out the biometric details of what makes a male face attractive would require another lengthy post, so for now these two methods are acceptable substitutes.)

On a 1 – 10 scale:

0 – 4

5 – 7

8 – 10

9. Have you ever played a leading role in a team sport?

Yes

10. What is your occupation?

(Since I won’t list every single high status job in the Department of Labor’s Occupational Handbook, you’ll have to make a judgment call on your own job. It’s a safe assumption that most people know a high status job when they see it.)

High status (doctor, lawyer, stockbroker, executive, professor, business owner, successful artist or musician or writer, professional athlete, etc.)

Neutral status (engineer, programmer, accountant, salesman, mid level manager, scientist, military officer, well-paid tradesman, etc.)

Low status (low paid blue collar, admin, construction, janitor, struggling web designer, help desk, etc.)

11. How many friends do you have?

0 to 3

4 to 20

20+

12. How many friends have you met through the internet that you have never seen in person?

0 to 2

over 2

13. When was the last time you went to a house party?

Within the past month

Between one month and one year ago

Over one year ago

14. Have people besides your family called you funny?

None

A few have

Nearly everyone who knows me

15. What is your IQ?

Under 85

85 to 110

110 to 130

130 to 145

over 145

16. At a party, which happens first – you approach someone or someone approaches you?

I approach someone first almost every time

I occasionally approach first

Someone normally approaches me first

17. Have you ever been in a serious fight where real punches were thrown and you felt like you wanted to kill your opponent(s)?

Yes

Yes, with a girl

18. Have you ever been arrested?

Yes

Yes, for child pornography or public exposure

It’s best to answer the following questions based on your past experience with similar scenarios. Who we really are is not what we wish we were but what we have always been.

19. You are on a second date with a girl. You go to kiss her. She turns her cheek to you and says “Slow down, I’m not that kind of girl.” You reply:

”Sorry.”

“Yeah, well, no prob.”

”This could be trouble ’cause I’m that kind of guy.” *smirk*

20. You’re chatting up a pretty girl you just met in a bar. After a few minutes she asks you to buy her a drink. You reply:

“Sure.”

I’m not an ATM.”

“No, but you can buy me one.”

21. You’ve just met a cute girl in a club and have been talking with her for five minutes when she abruptly changes the topic to a raunchy conversation about her multiorgasmic ability. You respond with:

A huge grin and an eager “Damn! That is HOT!”

A look of mild disdain.

A raised eyebrow while saying “Hey, thanks for the medical report.”

22. The pickup has been going well. Later in the night she leans in and begins making out with you passionately. You feel like a king and your jeans suddenly feel much tighter. Do you:

Immediately grope her boob in return.

Continue making out with her for as long as she wishes.

Kiss for a little bit then push her gently away and look distracted for a second.

23. You go to a bar. Twenty feet away are a pretty girl, a fat girl, and an average guy talking amongst themselves. The pretty girl briefly eye flirts with you. In reponse, you:

Eye flirt back and forth a few times before approaching 20 minutes later.

Immediately approach in a direct fashion maintaining strong eye contact with your target.

Immediately approach but from an indirect angle, looking around the room distractedly on the way over to your target as if you might see an even prettier girl somewhere else, and finally delivering your opener from over your shoulder.

24. Who do you address first?

The pretty girl.

The fat girl.

Everyone.

26. In the middle of the conversation you have to pee. You say:

“I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“Excuse me.”

Nothing. Just go.

27. You’ve managed to get her outside your front door. There is obvious sexual tension. You want to close this deal. You say:

“So, um, ah, see you around.”

“Why don’t you come inside?”

“I’m thirsty. Are you thirsty? Let’s go inside and taste DC’s finest tap water. But you can only stay for a minute, I have to get up early.”

Question 1 of 26